{"id":103,"date":"2026-08-11T20:19:31","date_gmt":"2026-08-11T20:19:31","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/believe4more.com\/?p=103"},"modified":"2026-08-11T20:54:59","modified_gmt":"2026-08-11T20:54:59","slug":"marriage-gods-design-for-male-female-relationships-part-ii","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/believe4more.com\/?p=103","title":{"rendered":"Marriage – God’s Design for Male-Female Relationships, Part II"},"content":{"rendered":"

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In Part I, I described the foundations of marriage in both the Catholic and Protestant traditions, my own marriage journey and ended with the foundation of a Christian marriage. \u00a0 Now we\u2019ll look at what might hinder your relational happiness and how these issues can be minimized or altogether eliminated.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Let\u2019s start with a word picture.\u00a0 Imagine a vase full of water.\u00a0 The vase is a human soul, let\u2019s say your soul, and the water represents all the bumps and bruises of the world that have affected your soul \u2013 which is your mind, your will and your emotions.\u00a0 As a Christ-follower, now you want to take action to prepare for a healthy relationship, for example, and you begin to read and apply God\u2019s Word to your mind, will and emotions (your soul).\u00a0 This is like taking a stone and putting it in the vase full of water, again the water representing all the pain, wounds and emotions from your past. <\/span><\/p>\n

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After adding several stones, the truth of God\u2019s Word to the vase of water, what would happen to the water?\u00a0 It would spill out and be replaced with the Truth of God\u2019s Word!\u00a0 That is how anyone can redirect their life in a positive way, and it is especially helpful as you hope to have a long- lasting marriage relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n

God\u2019s Word is primary in Christian pre-marital counseling. If you are a Christian, and God\u2019s Word is not being used in the counseling, find one that is!\u00a0 The reason pre-marital counseling is so vitally important is that, as I said in Part I, we were all born into Satan\u2019s kingdom. In John 10:10, Jesus tells us,<\/span> \u2018Satan comes only to steal, kill and destroy, but that He comes to give us life, and life more abundantly.\u201d<\/span><\/i>\u00a0 That verse contains all the wisdom for successful living!\u00a0 To me it means unless we want Satan to rob us of our lives, the lives God (Jesus) gave us to live abundantly, we need to align ourselves with God and the practical way He has given us to do that is by reading His Word, the Bible, and knowing that He left us His Spirit, the Holy Spirit, who is sealed with our human spirit at the time we sincerely make Jesus our Savior and Lord.\u00a0 Jesus\u2019 exact words about Holy Spirit in John 14:26 went like this: \u201cBut the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My name, He will teach you all things, and bring to your remembrance all things that I said to you.\u201c Our lives can never be truly successful without God and can be immeasurably better – even abundant – as we learn His Truth from His Spirit<\/span>\"\"<\/p>\n

Now, let\u2019s look at real benefits of completing pre-marital counseling. Here\u2019s what I experienced. When my husband and I did this, we were able to express all our expectations for our relationship.\u00a0 Most couples spend a lot of time and money on preparations for the wedding day, reception, honeymoon, etc. and comparatively little time on preparing for the day-to-day relationship.\u00a0 Hence, the 50% divorce rate. How can we reduce that? But, let\u2019s continue.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

In the dating relationship, we typically all put our best foot forward, don\u2019t we?\u00a0 We\u2019re having fun and enjoy being together, we want to see where it goes and don\u2019t want to rock the boat. However, as Neil Clark Warren says in his book, <\/span>Finding the Love of Your Life,<\/span> no one should make a decision to get married until they have dated at least two years.\u00a0 Hmm\u2026\u00a0 Two years? Yes.\u00a0 Ironically, while my husband and I were teaching this class, we hit our two-year dating mark and had the biggest argument we ever had!\u00a0 The reason?\u00a0 I don\u2019t remember what the disagreement was about, but the reason behind it was we had dated long enough to feel comfortable enough to say the thing we hesitated to say earlier, or ask the question we wouldn\u2019t dare ask sooner.\u00a0 Letting any other foot go forward can lead to relationship explosions, and if we would\u2019ve been married already when this happened, we could\u2019ve separated over it.<\/span><\/p>\n

Therefore, I have a testimony that Neil is on to something and we should take him seriously.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Now at the two-year dating mark, a decision to go forward should be made with the benefit of pre-marital counseling. This can be done with either a pastor, a Christian counselor or married mentoring couple. In the sessions, you will be encouraged to discuss every topic regarding the marriage relationship, including: the spiritual foundation of the relationship, communication, conflict resolution, finances, roles and responsibilities, intimacy and sexuality, family and children.\u00a0 I\u2019d like to point out here, the all-important topic of conflict resolution.\u00a0 If you haven\u2019t been successful prior to this in resolving conflicts, these 6 weeks will give you plenty of practice, and I believe it will be well worth the effort and time you take to work through any conflicts during this time.\u00a0 It will pay great dividends throughout the marriage.<\/span><\/p>\n

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Remember a few paragraphs back I mentioned the bumps and bruises we get living in Satan\u2019s kingdom?\u00a0 Here is where they should all be revealed, making an interesting time with your pastor, counselor or mentoring couple. Oh goodie. The time your parent (or a teacher) said something about you that you can\u2019t forget, or forgive. A previous relationship that ended due to unfaithfulness, maybe your unfaithfulness. That addiction you struggle with to pornography or gambling.\u00a0 It all needs to come out, no stone left unturned.\u00a0 Stones. Where did I mention stones before?\u00a0 I\u2019m going to tie it up here. God\u2019s Word is healing to your soul. Remember the parts \u2013 your mind, your will and your emotions. The experiences of life, both good and bad, land in our mind and affect our emotions and our will or our attitude about it and the future. Psalm 23: 2-3 says, \u201cHe makes me lie down in green pastures, He leads me beside still waters, He restores my soul.\u201d And Psalm 147:2 says, \u201cHe heals the brokenhearted and bandages their wounds.\u201d We all need some healing from the world and it\u2019s so important to discuss it with a trusted third party in order to lay a worthy foundation for a Covenant with God.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

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In Part I, I described the foundations of marriage in both the Catholic and Protestant traditions, my own marriage journey and ended with the foundation of a Christian marriage. \u00a0 Now we\u2019ll look at what might hinder your relational happiness and how these issues can be minimized or altogether eliminated.\u00a0 Let\u2019s start with a word […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":92,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-103","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/believe4more.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/103","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/believe4more.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/believe4more.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/believe4more.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/believe4more.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=103"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/believe4more.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/103\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":104,"href":"https:\/\/believe4more.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/103\/revisions\/104"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/believe4more.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/92"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/believe4more.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=103"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/believe4more.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=103"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/believe4more.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=103"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}